MIL and FIL Just Don’t Understand
Luckily my husband has always been supportive of my misophonia. Even before we were married, he was an incredibly supportive, kind, and generous man. This does not mean he has always liked dealing with my misophonia, or that it hasn’t been hard to deal with—but, he has tried his best, nonetheless.
There have been endless couple’s negotiations through our 5+ years together. Many of them have included sleeping separately, not going to high-trigger places, and having shut doors when there will be triggers present. These are all things that seem simple on one hand yet impact our daily lives. Luckily chewing isn’t a main trigger—but we’ve relied on softer foods during some shows to cut the tension.
My problem with misophonia does not come from my husband at all, but from his mother and father who are painfully ignorant to the pain misophonia causes. According to his family I am selfish and keeping him away from them, yet they don’t invite us to events because my misophonia is “inconvenient”. I have tried over the years to share resources, to be very polite and kind asking for accommodations – and yet the end result has been the same, “this cranky mean witch has stolen our son away”. It has been incredibly painful to realize that no matter how hard I try this condition will never be recognized by some people. They are not the first family members who have treated me this way, but the others were on my own side and I was fine cutting them off.
The blessing here is that my husband does not care what they think and happily supports me through all of it, yet I am so sad that this important relationship in my life has been disintegrated because I am unable to attend social events in the way that people are “supposed to”. Sometimes I wonder if the misophonia is the problem at all – or if nobody would be good enough for her baby boy! I hope this reminder serves to highlight that romantic relationships can have far more complex outreaches than simply between your partner and you!
