Lately I’m having a hard time accepting Misophonia. There has been an onslaught of triggers during the summer months. This is made worse by living in army housing, where mowing the lawn is not only mandatory, but not complying is penalized by fines and the army itself getting involved. On the weekends, soldiers mow their lawns, and during the week, large commercial lawnmowers rattle so loudly that the windows shake.
It’s worse because I never wanted to live here. I knew this would be a problem and I resisted the idea of army housing entirely. And then covid happened, and suddenly we were jumping in head over heels and moving in together. I don’t regret that or my subsequent marriage… but man I hate living here.
There’s also nothing that can be done for the sound of lawnmowers. Even noise cancelling headphones don’t remove the frequency of lawnmowers entirely. Whitenoise and earplugs are useless against their drone—and I must say that at this point I’m beyond exhausted.
I even tried contacting the housing association to see if they could get me the schedule so that I could reliably flee from the main trigger, the commercial mowers. While they were sympathic, they unfortunately do not have access to the schedule of the mowers as they are subcontractors.
I also feel a bit guilty for hating where I live so much when the global housing crisis continues to rise. I’m fortunate to have a safe home to live in, and I know that, but I still cannot reconcile with the emotional turmoil I feel every time I hear the lawnmowers.
It doesn’t help that this has been some of the worst months for me that I’ve had in years. I’d rank it as the second worse year in my life—and that really is something I do not say lightly. For now, all I can do is try my best to cope. I’m delighted that I live in a cold area in Canada where in a few months the grass will be dead and covered in snow, my ears protected by a cold blanket.
On that note… I should go mow the lawn (no triggers if I do it myself). Funny enough, the only sound I’ve found loud enough to cover the frequency of a lawnmower… is the loud sound of being right next to the lawnmower. Go figure.
